Damn Spider Solitaire. Damn it to hell.
If you talk to me long enough on any given day, you're bound to hear me utter something along the lines of "man, I gotta start working out more," or "I wish I had more time to read," or "one of these days I'll get around to cleaning the apartment." I'm a hopeful sorta guy, you know, with dreams and shit. Its only a matter of a few years before I make all of my wildest dreams come true (yes, this includes reading more and cleaning my apartment). That is, unless Spider Solitaire doesn't consume me whole first.
Spider Solitaire is a curse. No. Its much, much worse. Spider Solitaire is the scourge of the Earth.
I, Josh Travis, swear that when I'm done typing this, I will remove Spider Solitaire from my computer. It will be a brave act or it will be the biggest mistake of my life. It all depends upon the sort of built in defense mechanism the Spider Solitaire program is armed with. If you find a pile of ashes on my chair, tell my mom that I love her and that now I am with grammy on the "other side". And for the love of Christ, do not attempt to finish the game on my computer screen.
Today I had pizza for lunch and pizza for dinner. Also for dinner, I had beers. I have not ridden my bike in weeks. I don't need a nurse to take my blood pressure or stick her finger up my butt to know that I could benefit from more intense physical activity. This physical activity I have in mind is going to happen really really soon dammit. I don't want any more excuses from Mother Nature. Things better warm up soon or there's going to be hell to pay. I'm serious. I'll start littering all over the place! If the Northern Hemisphere doesn't start getting its act together, I'm going to have to take things into my own hands. I don't want to start driving a 76 Cadillac Eldorado around to contribute more than my fair share of greenhouse gasses, but I'll do it if things don't get a little more pleasant around here. Fuck Hootie the Owl, Smokie the Bear, Shamoo the whale-the whole lot of em. I want to ride my bike!
posted by Josh @ 9:36 PM
5 Comments:
It is done.
Holy crickey, Josh. Did you really delete Spider Solitaire? I think you might regret that one those lonely Tuesday evenings when no fern is around. Maybe not. Anyroad, I got a fabulous workout in. Perhaps the answer is not to delete your favorite computer program but rather to join the YMCA and go workout with me. It's really only $25 a month.
Did you not read my comment? IT IS DONE. I'd never make such a somber proclamation if it weren't true. When I think back on alllll the hoooouuuurrrs I've wasted playing that diabolical game, I feel reeeeealy good inside having done what I did.
Yeah, working out at the Y with you sounds nice; but trust me, my threats on mother nature and the northern hemisphere are going to work. We'll be hitting jumps on our bikes in no time. You'll see! (just ignore that snow falling outside your window this very moment)
See, while I enjoy playing Spider Solitaire, I was never as obsessive about it as I think you were. Perhaps it was a good thing that you got rid of it.
You should join the Y with me.
I wasn't obsessive perse, its just that if I was having a hard time beating a particular game, I'd play it over and over and over and over again until I finally beat it-see, not obsessive really. And sometimes that would consume an hour or more of my precious time.
Damn, I'm itching to play a game right now, but I can't-which is both a sweet thing and a sucky thing.
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