Crazy Coincidence

This has existed as a draft for a few months. I thought I might add something to it, but no, I think its time to release it to the public. Here you go:

Wednesday morning, I was eating toast and reading the newspaper when I became a tad agitated by a moronic letter to the editor entitled "Liberals Lie". The author of the little gem complained that liberals were doing everything in their power to silence opposition in Washington. He mentioned a bill liberals were trying to pass and the fight against teaching design in public schools. The final sentence of the letter went something like "Support your local conservatives!"
I think that what got my goat was the simple fact that this person was a proud conservative making the same tired conservative points and accusations. I know that conservatives do exist--its just hard for me to understand why. How could a person believe that what two consenting adults do in their own home determines whether they'll go to heaven or rot in hell? How could a person base their morality upon something as twisted & strange as the Bible. How could a person see everything so black and white, good or evil? And how could a person feel so strongly about his weakly-held religious beliefs that he'd send a letter to the editor of the Idaho Statesman in order to rant in our ears?
So this is what I did. I wrote a letter to the editor myself. I wrote something like, "As a liberal who would absolutely love it if the U.N. overthrew the U.S. government and took away all of our guns, I must admit that I've been impressed by powerful conservative arguments like the one offered by (dude who wrote "liberals lie"), and now I'm ready to make a concession. Teach religion in schools. I'm fine with that. Quote scripture even. Like "(a passage from the bible which describes how a gang of Sodomites demanded of a man the release of two angels which were visiting that man. The mob intended to rape the angels. The host of the angels begged the mob to spare them. He was able to convince them to leave the angels alone by offering up his daughter and concubine. The men gang raped the two women instead, and left them for dead. The next day, the father took his daughter's body and cut it up into twelve pieces, and sent them to the different tribes of Israel.)" Let our children learn that the God of the Bible commanded child murder (only a test) and genocide (see Numbers). Of course, let the scriptures speak for themselves, and allow our children to decide for themselves."

I submitted the letter Wednesday morning. After work, my roommate Eric, who is a camera operator/editor with Channel 7, told me that he just came back from Nampa, where a double homicide had occurred. All Eric knew at the time was that it was supposed to be a particularly gory scene. Since Wednesday, details surrounding the murders have been slow to emerge. In today's paper, its was revealed that the two persons killed had been "tortured", and by "tortured" I mean struck repeatedly with an axe. Apparently, the murder suspect, who was found wandering the neighborhood naked that Wednesday afternoon, smeared blood all over the house. Obviously, the murderer was completely out of his mind. But the crazy coincidence is that the same day I wrote a letter to the editor in which I quote a scripture involving rape, murder, and the dismemberment of bodies (to make the point that the Bible is screwed up), a guy tortured and chopped up two people. What's more, according to the Statesman, since being caught, the suspect has been ranting continously about the Bible, religion, God, and Jesus Christ. An emergency room doctor who must have treated the suspect said that "He took it like a metaphor literally and that he was following his faith." The affidavit reported that the suspect claimed that he felt bad, and that he tried to lay his hands upon the victims to try and heal them, but he didn't have the "authority".
It would be wrong, of course, to say that religion was responsible for the murders. But then again, I think it would be wrong to say that it had nothing at all to do with them. How much responsibility religion holds for the violent actions of individuals (murderers, terrorists, presidents, etc) is yet to be drawn out. I think its a correlation that shouldn't be ignored in any case.

New blog on Disbelief

Its the biggest, baddest, blog of all time! No, really, its the longest blog I've published. Its something that's taken months of on and off again work. For those who dare, its certainly not going to be the easiest read in the world. Its a critical analysis/logical deconstruction of a book called "Scientific Faith". If you're a cherished member of my family who happens to be Christian, and you'd rather not confront a load of anti-religious thinking at the moment, feel free to avoid the blog. For everyone else, enjoy! Kidding. I wrote the blog for myself, of course. Its just the first significant thing I've done as part of my larger life long passion/hobby/project. To see, click the "disbelief" link down there on the right.

"Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today", "Ambition feels good", "I am my own house elf". These are but a few of the daily affirmations and wise sayings that have stuck with me over the past few weeks. The last time I nose dived into a funk, I very quickly came to my senses and pulled back on the stick-metaphorically speaking, of course!. Cheesy and ridiculous sayings kept popping into my mind as my body became a weapon against all disorder and waste in the apartment. Grand ideas like "If I had an organizer for my desk, I'd never have to search for my keys & wallet again!" burst forth, followed immediately by the formulation of plans like "Buy an organizer". These plans were urgent, and required immediate action. Some things I did I had already resolved to do months before but had neglected, like working out and cleaning the apartment for 20 minutes before reading the paper over breakfast each morning. Other things involved a large amount of money and some long term planning. All of these goals, from the smallest to the largest, rode on the back of the immense angst and ambition that suddenly burst forth out of the clouds and into the bright blue sky of a summer.... You get the picture.

Right. I must say that writing is probably one of those things that gets easier the more one does it, and harder the more time one allows to pass between writing projects. Sheesh!

So, this angst. I believe what helped it set it alight was an old and lasting disdain I felt for inaction. As a young lad, I half expected to see a relative do something of note, or to achieve financial success of some kind. Instead, what became apparent was the fact that large families, religious convictions, and a simple lack of initiative were not particularly conducive to the birth and realization of amazing accomplishments. Now that I look back on it, its obvious that my mom or my uncle had their hands full taking care of me, my brothers and sisters, and my cousins. Not having even the smallest silver spoon, having to contend with divorce, and being single would have made raising children an act to simply survive. At any rate, my siblings and I were very aware of the fact that we didn't have a lot of money, that our relatives didn't have a lot of money, and that nobody in the whole clan lived a comfortable, fun life. While I looked up to everyone in my family for one reason or another, I never observed anyone doing or accomplishing anything that I'd consider cool. Among my siblings, there were more than a few of us who thought that there might exist a Travis, or a Satchel, curse. It was a do-nothing curse. I resolved then as a child that I would not be a do-nothing. A few weeks ago, I felt too much like one, and it really pissed me off.

When I was 12, my mom met a man named Bill. They later married. After a split and remarriage, the couple moved me, my sister Erin, and brother Seth into a deluxe double wide trailer in a rural area south of Parma, Idaho. Bill owned the property, which included a barn and alfalfa fields, as well as a tractor, two dirt bikes, and some junker cars. Bill was a charismatic man who dreamed big. He wanted all of us to help him transform that dusty land into some sort of paradise with orchards that grew peaches and apples. He wanted to remodel the bunkhouse and build a home. He wanted to have animals in the barn. In the end, we had none of these things, thanks in large part to the fact that Bill was much more of a dreamer than he was a doer. After a couple of years on that windswept hill overlooking the Owyhees, during which time a few trees were planted and a window was placed in the bunk house, Mom divorced Bill and moved Seth, Erin, and I into a Homedale cottage.

Several years later, Mom met and married James who, like Bill, was a charismatic dreamer. Understandably, my mom was again caught up in thoughts of an ideal life in a beautiful rural part of Idaho-this time in a single wide trailor in the Emmett Valley. Allegedly, James's dreams involved more than finding financial success with his computer hobbies while Mom raised his six boys. He told my mother that he had a dreampt of the second coming of Christ during which time volcanic eruptions would destroy much of the area but leave his home untouched.
After moving in with James, his six boys, my Mom, and my sister Erin; I decided that it was the perfect time take up my Dad's offer to move in with him at his home in Independence, Kansas.

The anger I felt in response to my recent stagnation was surely fueled in part by experiences I had with Bill and James. Still, my anger wasn't directed at anyone in particular, including myself. Instead, I imagine inaction as something tangible-a barrier to pass or an opponent to conquer...